Packing...

Well, I did it again.. I took a nap earlier today because I was so tired and then I stayed up late packing for ten days in the field.. This is the last big push, we will be tested on everything that they have been teaching us over the past three and a half months! I am not too nervous, I know I can do everything, I just have to pay attention to the details. We will be given an order and then we will have to cater that order to our Platoon, but we will be working with a company sized unit and will have to work together with other platoons. It should be really good training! In all the training we have had we have only done about three company sized missions.. Oh, and another thing, we will be sleep deprived! We should get about three to four hours of sleep a night, and the last five days we'll get two hours of sleep every third day! Like I said, it should be some good training!!

I don't have too many really good friends down here.. No one that I can just hang out with and talk about life.. I guess I get lonely, so I've chatting with friends back home on FB, it has really helped! I am a little nervous about going home. I have some money saved up, but I don't know if I am going to pay off my loans from school or just try to save it.. I could probably pay off all of my loans but then I wouldn't have very much money.. And then there is tithe. I want to give ten percent so I might see if one of my missionary friends have any needs. Tithe is kinda tough.. Like it would be so easy just to keep the money.. I read a book on tithing once. In the book the author talked about how tithing isn't necessarily easy but it is giving something or worth for someone who gave everything. I guess I have a saying that I kinda live by, "money will come and go but you'll always have your family.." Family here on earth is different from our eternal family but that's probably just because we compartmentalize our lives.. I am a part of God's family when I want to be or when I look for it.. But it really isn't that way, or it shouldn't be.

I have been considering moving to KY. I've been thinking about it for probably about a month now. I've prayed a lot and thought about it but I am thinking that it is more of a thought then a plan. There are some really cool people down here, they have swing dancing a couple times a week and I like the area. I will miss my family but I could probably get up to see them a couple times a year.. I don't know, it would be a big step and a lot of things would have to line up to make it an option.. I am probably going to try to get unemployment benefits for a couple weeks or months.. The amount that I will get should be about equal to what I was getting before I came down here, so I will definitely be able to live off of it and still be able to save.. I will probably try to get a job at Wells Fargo or some other bank, I think that would be a good career move for me and it would give me some experience in the banking industry if I chose to move.. I probably wouldn't make too much but I think I would enjoy the job. It would probably be a lot of standing around.. Sometime I would like to have a job that involves sitting. Sitting is easier on your body. I'm starting to sound old, worrying about my body and all.

I guess what it all comes down to is focusing on God and where he is going to take me. I put so many other things before Him and my relationship with Him.. Paul is one of my hero's. He had so much faith! Sure, he had some pretty amazing things happen to him but he went where God sent him and didn't really complain about it. I am looking forward to meeting him some day, when "my mission is done." Or when Jesus comes back. Well, I need to get up in about three hours so I should probably hit the hay.

Looking back on my last ten years and looking forward to the next...

Happy Birthday to me! Sometimes I wonder if I should have planned my life better, or had goals for my life. But then I realize that every time I make a plan for my life it doesn't work. I was putting a BIO together for the NG and it occurred to me that it took me ten years to get through college.. Sure, two years were a tech school and four years were for my BS so the fastest it could have been was 6 years.. But it still struck me as a long time. But I can look back over those ten years and see all the cool things I did, the numerous countries I visited and the people I interacted with. Over that time I went to the Philippines, Germany, France, Guatemala, Mexico, Bosnia, Hungry, Iraq and Qatar.. I don't think I would have thought about planning for that when I graduated HS.. And I played soccer, took up disc golf, and ran a 5k in under 20 minutes.. Oh, and swing dancing.. Swing Dancing has been my most rewarding accomplishment! But I want more.. I never thought I would be as good as I am now but I still think of myself as an intermediate..

Turning 31 seems old.. I still feel like I'm 27 or 28.. I'm in good shape and I stay active. Thankfully I have matured a ton in the past ten years.. Both spiritually and mentally. Spiritually speaking, I feel that I have realized that I am not as invincible as I once thought.. I think a lot of young males go through that stage.. I find myself looking for strength in Christ rather then relying on my own power. And that's where the planning starts to come it again, but this time around it is more about seeking guidance rather then looking for answers. If Jesus told me the answers would I believe Him, just like at the age of 19 or 20 would I believe I would have done all the things I've accomplished in the past ten or so years? Probably not.. So now I talk to God about what is going on in my life and see where He takes me. He has lead me to join the NG after getting out, something I was not sure I would have ever done, but it turned my life around financially and has brought me to where I am today. Why am I here though.. But that is looking for answers again.. Its better to say, "thanks for bringing me here, now use me.." That's where the living part of my faith comes in. The only way that is going to work is by focusing on Him and including Him in my day rather then praying and meditating at night.. Does God read my bloggs? Of course he does! Thanks for being there bud, or I mean, God.. I am anxious to see where you take me in the next ten years! I know it will be great and probably more then I ever would have believed if you were to tell me right now! I can't wait, I know it will go by fast! Thanks for everything!