"Enjoy the Moment" changes to "Enjoying the Moments."

I was chatting with a good friend on FB the other day and she said something that has stuck with me for the past couple of days.. She said, "Enjoy the moment," when I was telling her what was new with my life. It is in those moments that you are able to look back, it is what memories are made of. Some of the "moments" that I look back on and always bring a smile to my are are the months that I spent with my friends, Matt, Leah, Jaron and Kristy. We spent a summer together and that summer changed our lives. The summer ended in a grand fine-ally when we spent the weekend together. Well, I can't speak for everyone but Jaron and Leah are married and have a baby together, so it changed their lives.. Kristy will be an eternal friend no matter where her life takes her and Matt and I will always have a connection. At the time, I think we all knew that we would never be spending a weekend like that together ever again but everything was perfect. Oh, it was so perfect. I praise God for giving us these moments. Other "moments" that I have enjoyed are "moments" that just happen and you don't really enjoy them until you are looking back on them. I guess life just happens so fast that the moment is here and gone before you realize it ever happened. But I will always be able to look back on the experiences and know that we all shared it together. When I was talking to the woman who told me this, I was telling her about plans I was making and how I might be making some changes in my life.. I want to be able to enjoy the moment but when I find someone special I want that moment to change into life.. So I won't necessarily be "enjoying the moment" because everything I do will be enjoyable.. Does that make sense? I guess it would change from a past tense "enjoy" into a present tense, "enjoying..." "Enjoying the moments," everything you are doing is an adventure and there won't be a change from ordinary to special. It will all be special..

Now I'm going to make a bit of a stretch to 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, "Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." This is what God wants for us..? What I take away from this passage is that Christ is here, with us, now. We don't look back as say, "That was awesome spending time with Jesus.." Jesus didn't leave, he's been here all along.. We don't go away and share a weekend with him and then go on with our life because he is there right now! I'm not waiting for a chance He will have to just hang out with me because he is already there, enjoying the moments we are always spending with Him.. So, right now, I'm enjoying the moments with Jesus. What's up Jesus? How ya doing bra? Kickin' it with my homie, brotha J. Ever present. Thank you for everything, Jesus..

"I am coming back to the heart of worshing and its all about you, its all about you Jesus."

I know I just blogged like five minutes ago but I've been doing a lot of reflecting tonight. I guess that's what happens when you sit and think about your life and wonder about things. I came to the realization that I have been doing a lot of compromising the past couple of months.. Thankfully I have not compromised in areas like premarital sex or anything like that but I have been tempted.. A song just came to me, "I'm coming back to the heart of worship and its all about you, all about you Jesus." Reflecting on that thought, lately it has not been about Jesus, its been about Travis. And this feeling is empty. I want to live for something more then myself. At church last week the pastor was preaching out of Act's, one of my favorite books, his challenge to us as a congregation was to go and tell the world about the good news of Christ. Being raised in the church I know all of these things but I'm not living for Him. I think that has a lot to do with the pattern that I am in. I have this constant longing for female companionship but every time I become interested in someone I go running in that direction.. Why. Because I'm human I guess.. Maybe I don't have an answer for it. Okay, I don't have an answer for it. I am weak and its only when I realize this that I go running back to Christ. Its an up and down pattern. I need to stop compromising but the only way to do that is to focus on Jesus, not everything else that takes up my time from day to day. I need to make time for Jesus just like I make time for studying and swing dancing. It will take a conscious effort but I know that it will be rewarding. When I look back on my life I realize that the times that I have been most heart broken or sad it has only been my relationship with Jesus that has gotten me through those times. My family has been supportive and encouraging but when I have focused on Christ it has made the biggest difference. Once again, I find myself on the bottom looking up, not knowing where I am going to go or what I am going to do. My job ends in just over a month and I will have to live on savings but I believe that I am here for a reason. I believe that I am going through these trials so that I can once again realize that I am here because I have lost focus but at the same time I am right where I am supposed to be. And I find myself thanking God for everything that he has blessed me with. Everything.

Who needs girls when you've got God. I quit girls.

Yeah, I'm not with that girl that I blogged about last.. She and I correspond about once a week, she is really busy.. I am thankful that I do not wait for her to call anymore, she hasn't called since a couple days after I got back down here. Her profile is active on Match.com again, I don't really care though. Sometimes there is so much clarity when you can look at a situation in the past. I feel like I'm coming to a point in my life that my sister, the 27 year old, came to when she was in HS.. She bid off boys, said that she was not interested in them at all, and vowed that she would become a Nun. Well, we went to a Protestant Church so she wasn't really going to become a Nun, but that's what she said. My Match.com profile is active right now, but I haven't met many people on there. I've actually met more people swing dancing.. I met this one girl who is really special, it makes me wish that I was living in Louisville. I'm tempted to try and move down here but I don't know what my friends and family would say.. I don't even know what this girl would say.. I could save up my money, I should actually be able to do that now that all but my college loans are paid for.. I think I keep on coming back to the same conclusion, I need to focus on God... I'll be honest, I have really drifted away from him. I pray, but not as often as I used to, I read my Bible last night but it was the first time in a while, I went to church last weekend and it was great.. I feel like Paul, asking himself why he sins so much and why he does the things that the world does.. I know that God created me to be special and that I'm not a bad guy, I know that he loves me and has cared for me this whole time even though I have done things that he does not approve of.. I need God in my life more then I need any woman, more then I need to swing dance, more then the enjoyment I would get out of owning a nice car or a big truck.. He has blessed me so much, and I usually don't realize it. I am so thankful for what I have.