Where I'm at in my life..

I think I'm still dating the same girl that I blogged about last... I came home for Christmas to visit my friends and family and to spend some time with my girl friend. The thing is, I think we spent too much time together for as short as we were dating.. I guess she was able to see what I'm really like.. After spending so much time together we both realized that our relationship had a long ways to go. Here is a little insight into how I feel my mind works with I'm away doing military stuff. When I'm here, surrounded by a bunch of other guys, one of the things that gets me through it all is having something to look forward to.. Like when I was at Fort Benning I met a girl online and corresponded with her for about a month or so. It made that last month go fast as I was looking forward to meeting her. Well, I met her and she told me that it wasn't going to work out for various reason. I was fine with that, at least she was honest with me.

Well, taking that perspective into consideration with my current interest these past few days have been challenging. I really like this woman and being away from someone you care about is always hard, but there are a couple of things that help people get through stuff like this. I guess sometimes all I need is a little bit of encouragement. For example, I have gotten some short texts from her telling me that she has been sick lately and I know that she has had a lot of things going on in her life, but just getting a text saying that she is thinking about me or hopes that I have a good day can go a long ways. Shortly after I got back to KY she and I had a DTR (defining the relationship) conversation. Well, it was kinda a DTR only we didn't really define it, we more said that we had to focus on the here and now of our lives rather then getting to far ahead of ourselves. I agreed with her and told her that I will support her in whatever she does. I felt like I wanted to empower her and I wanted her to know that I wanted what was best for her. I guess sometimes I worry and when that happens I just want her to tell me that everything is going to be okay.. But at the same time I can appreciate her telling me that its not okay and its over.. I guess its the part about not knowing or understanding what is going on. One of the many things that is special about this woman is that she is a "straight shooter, no none sense kind of gal," meaning, she says it like it is. So that's the part where I just want to be patient and let her tell me how she feels. If nothing else, I feel like I am becoming more trusting, I'm allowing her to dictate the terms of our relationship, even if it is more of a friendship then anything else..

I guess something else that I am learning is that I don't have many close friends. I think some of it has to do with proximity. Like when I'm in the cities I have some friends who I enjoy doing activities with but when I'm away from home I don't talk to them at all. I have some friends that moved out of the cities but I don't see them as much as I once did, and other friends have moved out of the country so I have lost touch with them.. When my parents moved 7 hrs North of the cities it really decreased my interaction with them as well. My dad still calls me almost weekly, I am thankful for that.

Everything else is going well down here. I am anxious to be busy again, when I'm busy I don't think about my personal life.. It helps me put off worrying about finding a job when I get back to MN and all those other things that I tend to worry about. But this time away has helped me realize that I have to looking forward to other things. I have to look forward to finding a job. I want to find a "dream job" or at least a job that will challenge me but more importantly, something that I will be good at.. I should be able to pay off some of my student loans and possibly get unemployment until I find something that will pay well. I'll have to look into government jobs or working for the State through the military.. I need to be patient and work hard at finding a job rather then taking the easy route, because that usually turns into the hard route.. And I need to focus on God, that's something I haven't been doing for the past couple of months. Pray for me if you think about it,

Thanks,

Trav