Why do I do what I do not want to do??

I played soccer for Crown College in the fall of 2007, I really enjoyed having the opportunity to play, but I was not in very good shape so I spent most of that year sitting on the bench.. Well there was this kid who played the same position as I did and we would switch off during the game. Well, in the beginning of the year he started a fast, I think we was fasting for four days or something like that. Well, I supported him and his fast but I was curious of why he chose to do it during the soccer season. I asked him why he was fasting and he said that he was fasting because he was sinning, but I misunderstood him thinking that he was fasting because he was sitting... I was like, "well, maybe coach wants to give someone else a shot at playing..." Wow, how clueless I was.. But it was funny. I don't know how God led this guy or if he was able to give him more direction in his life but I think we all wonder what we fall into sin so easily..

Paul was going through the same debate with himself and God in Romans chapter 7. In Romans 7:14-20 Paul wrote, "We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do no do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it." I believe Paul came to the same conclusion my team mate probably did. Its our sinful desire that leads us to sin, its all our humanly body has ever know.

I don't want to be so sinful, but I always fall back into sin. Catholic priests probably thought that they would be fine once they became Bishops or some higher position but we all know that even priests are bound by sin. Paul talked a lot about grace and praise God for being a gracious God, I feel bad everything I fall back into sin but I know that He accepts me for all my short comings.. However, I still try to do things by myself, I find myself not even willing to look to Him for my strength, I end up thinking to myself that if only I try harder I will be successful. Or if I try harder these people will like me. Or if I have this possession in my life I will feel more successful. Well, when all my trying gets me no where and I'm out there wearing myself out, the only time I will find peace or comfort is when I turn all my troubles over to him. Only then will I feel complete or completely loved!! I just started thinking about these things when I read a friend's status, way to go G.