Anti Acquatiences First

I sit here at my computer wanting to write about something but I don't really know what to say. I guess I can write about my friends and just be thankful for what the Lord has blessed me with. I am so thankful for the friends that I have. I know I've said that before but I just can't get over how meaningful they are to me. I want to be there for them and I know that I am. I just enjoy doing that for them. You have to show that to each person in their own way. For one person if maybe be talking to them to make sure that they get home, while for another person it may be making sure that they are getting enough sleep, you know who you are.. But that's what I'm here for. Some of it consists of self sacrifice while on the other hand its just taking the time to caring for them. I find it easier to care for my guy friends, they have nothing to hide and they seem to appreciate the time you put into it. Every relationship takes time. With girls it is a little different, they seem to have rules or hidden expectations. Girls will tell you that there are not "rules" but there are, there always are rules. The thing is, guys are usually dumb, like we don't always read what is going on. It goes both ways though.

A girl told me that I didn't greet her like I did another girl. There's a rule, greet every girl the same, no matter if you know the girl or not. But then it depends on the girl and her own rules..

Every person is different so you have to do what they call in sales, "mirror matching," give the person what you know they want.. But then if you give the person (girl) what you think she wants you end up leading that person on.. I've done that in the past, I thought that I was giving the girl the type of effection that she wanted but I wasn't willing to go the whole way (because she liked me). I liked her too but not the way that she liked me.. That's where honesty comes in. I used to have two rules to dating, number one: Honesty is the best policy, and number two: communication is the key. That's back when I believed in dating. I am no longer a believer in that sense. If you don't know the girl very well then you probably don't know her well enough to "date" her.

Definitions: What is the definition of dating? Well, according to Merriam-Webster, a date is, "a social engagement between two persons that often has a romantic character." Romance... That's a different topic of discussion but it still relates. I am all for social engagements, that's basically what has given me something to look forward to. I am a human male, so I've always looked forward to social engagements where females would be present, is that such a bad thing? Well, its not a bad thing but one should focus on the building of relationships, not the building of romance. Romance comes with time but when that is the whole reason of your engagement things can become empty very quickly.

I am not anti-dating, I'm anti-dating soley for romantic purposes. Does that makes sense? I once confessed my feelings for a girl and she told me that things would never work out, not exactly what a guy wants to hear... It was at that point that I realized that I had jumped past the whole relationship part and went right for the romance. That's where you have to back up a bit and re-evaluate your reasons for pursing someone. Are you pursing them for romantic reasons or are you pursing them because you care about them and want what is best for them. If you want what is best for them then you should not even include yourself in the picture. That's when they have the choice to include you in the picture.

I used to have this saying, "friends first" when I was dating someone. But that doesn't really work, if you aren't even friends before you start dating then you've skipped right into the romance part of it. So my saying of "friends first" was more like saying "acquatiences first" because that's all you really are after the dating part doesn't work.. I have a bunch of ex girlfriends that are basically just acquatiences. I am not a part of their lifes now because I wasn't really a part of their life before we started our "relationship."

So that brings up an important question, what is a friend? How can you really classify someone as a friend? I have over six hundred "friends" on facebook but how many of them are truely friends?? I can think of a couple of the people that I would consider true friends that I don't talk to anymore, but most of them are just acquatiences. To be a true friend you have to spend time building that friendship. Time, it all seems to come back to time..

I have found that it is best to not expect things of my friends. I do not expect them to call me, they will call me when they want to talk or need something. If all I did was wait for my friends to call I would be waiting for a long time.. Longer for some then for others.. But when I don't expect them to call me, then I have a chance to be excited when that happens! That is one of the things I get the most joy out of, getting a phone call. I remember a time, long before cell phones when I would be at home and the phone would ring, then mom or dad would say, "Travis, its for you." What a job to receive a phone call!! I still get that same type of joy every time my phone rings and I think, "Oh, its for me!!"

Anyway, what have I put into words?

All relationships take time.
Don't "date" unless you really know the person.
If you really know the person then you must be true friends.
Don't expect anything from your friends, just care for them.
I like it when my friends call me.

I guess that's what was on my mind, Happy Valentines Day!!