357

Today my land lady/house mate asked me if I talk in my sleep. I admitted that I do.. She said that a few nights ago she heard me like screaming in a soft voice... I knew exactly what she was talking about. I had a bad dream... This wasn't one of those bad colletions dreams that I've been having about work, it was far deeper then that.

Well, deeper and bizarre.. This will make no sense to anyone but it had something to do with the numbers 357 and the fact that I am going to die some day... I've had a dream similar to this before, nothing to do with the numbers but everything to do with the feeling, it was the feeling of death.

What does death feel like... I don't know but in my dream I was dealing with what happens when you die.. Its times like that, where you are faced with something that you know you cannot overcome by yourself, that you realize how out of control you are. What I mean is what little control you have over the outcome. I will die some day and every one else reading this will also die some day. Just think about that, life as we know it will no longer exhist. We are finite beings meaning that our life started and it will end. Some people do not believe in God or eternity, I do not know how they deal with nightmares of dieing or the thought of life ending. My nightmare has a happy ending... I don't know what happened in it but I found myself crying out to God. I cried out to him to save me. I cried out to him to comfort me. I need God more then anything in my life. Crying out to anything else does not comfort me... I like trucks, snowmobiles and swing dancing but crying out to snowmobiles is meaningless, they can not save me. They are not ever present. They did nothing for me.. There are times when I feel lonely but that's because I am focusing on the finite, when I focus on the eternal, I am comforted..