I've been a bad friend (to Jesus)

My last blog talked about friends and meaningful friendships... I have been missing the point, or maybe more importantly, I have been being a poor friend myself. I need to be better friends with Jesus. What makes friendships work? Quality Time and Effort!! I have a friend who I never hear from, at one time I was calling him daily but that's when my job allowed it and we lived closer together. I understand that he has been very busy but when he doesn't make time for his friends or even make an effort to talk to them it makes it hard to stay close friends...

Now if I switch the tables and look at how often I've been "calling on" God or how often I've been talking to Jesus, I am just as bad or worse of a friend. And this friendship is not one of those people that I just talk to once a week, this is our Savior, the one who gave his life for me..

I feel asleep praying two nights ago and last night I feel asleep reading the word. Then this morning I read out of Matthew and Romans.. I need Jesus! Why am I always trying to find fulfillment through other avenues? (girls) Maybe because that is the flesh speaking to me, pulling me in other directions.. There is no excuse, it is just selfish thinking. Yesterday I don't think I prayed at all at work or even talked to Jesus. I need to be thinking of him all the time, please help me Jesus, be with me, lead me, sorry for being such a bad friend and not letting my light shine. I need you more then anything else and I will never be truly happy if I do not have you first in my life. Thank you for everything.