I am not a robot.

Yesterday I took a nice long nap and then I stayed up until 2 in the morning. Then when I was checking my email I realized that I could have met some friends of mine for brunch. It would have been a long drive but I can do two hours no problem. If only I hadn't stayed up so late blogging last night. But it feels go to write things down. I know that in the past I wrote letters to people and didn't actually send them, what a sense of relief! I guess blogging is the same thing, but I would be weary to post a letter directly to someone on a blog.. I'm sure that is is done all the time though!

Dreams are kinda crazy. Sometime I feel like I can control what I'm dreaming and other times I have no control overy anything except the ability to force myself to wake up and end the dream. Last night I was dreaming about pitching (trying to sell) to someone. I don't really remember if it worked out, but the nice things about this job is I will be giving people what they want. I won't get too into depth on the subject but its kinda crazy that I was dreaming that. But the thing that is really cool, it was not a stressful dream at all. I used to work retail and I would have dreams about restocking shelves and cleaning things up and then restocking shelves, and then people telling me what to do... I would wake up and not be well rested at all and then I'd go to work and stock picture frames for a couple of hours, not fun!

I'm supposed to be meeting with a man who I graduated high school with, I guess he wants to know how I think God is my strength or why I think that he is in control of my life. You know something, you don't really realize how little strength you have until you are really tested. Life is so fragile and people are dying every day. Who am I to think that I am invincable and why do I live as if I am going to live forever. How can I go through a day and not even think about God, or Jesus and how Jesus died for me? The Bible is real. Those things really happened! I believe that! I believe that our God is the God of the universe. Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people? Because we live in an evil world and because He has given us free will. We are not robots, however there are those out there that believe that Christians are mindless unthinking robots. That is so ignorant to believe. Just because I don't believe in what you believe then I must not have the ability to think and reason? I choose to believe in what I believe and I am not going to judge you for what you feel is right or wrong.

I want to love all people. Being in the military, the only color skin I saw was Green. When I meet someone on the street I want to know what the ethical origin is because it explans a lot about how they wish to be treated. All people want respect but I want to respect their customs and courtiseys. I can't spell. Okay, I just thought about that and it might not have made any sense. I guess the thing about writng things down as they come out of your head, they don't always make sense...

I need to take a shower, eat something, pick up the rest of my "tailored" suit and finish cleaning my room. My brother (in-law) and I made plans to go snowmobiling this afternoon and I need to plow the broom ball rink. We are having a party next weekend so it will give me something to look forward to this whole week. I haven't given this blogg address out to anyone so we'll see if I ever do. Yeah, some guys where blogging when we were in Iraq... I don't know if that would have good for me, I was pretty stressed out and upset with my situation.. I'm getting better but sometimes when I talk about it I get mad again. I'm not usually such an angry person though, or am I and I just don't want other people to think that? Okay, its not noon yet but I need to get going. We'll see how often I am able to blog, maybe I'll just be a weekend warrior or maybe I'll actually have something to talk about every day.. I'll have to tell everyone (no one since no one knows about this blog yet) how my first day goes!

Trav