I felt like crying.

Yesterday was not my best day. I had some things lined up from Tuesday and I was planning to close a couple of deals.. Well, they all fell through. One man decided that it wouldn't work out to spend a little more money and increase his efficiency by five times. Five times more for only three dollars, plus he would be getting a discount that would off set the three dollars more.. Another company basically just hung up the phone. I know me writing this is boring to you readers but setting these things up takes at least an hour and having them thrown out the window really stinks. I was encouraged to talk to a couple business owners who were very friendly but in the end of the day I was feeling sorry for myself. I actually felt like crying. I started asking myself why it isn't working. Why am I not closing deals? Am I being too friendly? The people at work tell me that I'm not assuming the sale. I don't want to be pushy, I could have had two sales yesterday but if I was pushy I am pretty sure that both customers would have said "no" and told me to leave and never come back..

On my drive home I called a close friend, he helped me feel better. Is really wasn't anything he said, just talking to him helped me feel better. I told him flat out that I needed some encouragement. I little encouragement goes a long ways with me.. We talked about him and a job that he applied for, stuff like that. Not talking about me and my problems was a good thing..

I was talking with Jesus this morning. I had to apoligize to him, when I was in my darkest hour yeterday I didn't even tell him about it. If I had only prayed for strength, I know I would have gotten it. If only I had told him that I needed encouragement, I know he would have given it to me on the spot. I really need to work our friendship/relationship. Jesus is there, just waiting for me to call on him. Why am I so focused on the here and now when I'm at work and then I think about Jesus when I go home and lay in my bed. I find that when I am dwelling on Him I am not as tired or broken. I guess it is good to at least understand this part of our relationship, that way I know what I can work on. Why does living by faith seem so different? I need to be living by faith every day. I'll be honest and say that I don't always think about God, but when I make changes and am always dwelling on Him, what an awesome life I will have! I'm sure that I'll still have those days were I will feel like crying out of joy or out of sorrow, but I will be with Him and that is exactly where I want/have to be.