One of those days.

Trav, here. I had one of those days that I guess you would put in the "Learning" column.. I'm in sales and in sales of any type, time management has a lot to do with what you get done. There are things that are uncontrollable, called "Uncontrollables," you can't allow yourself to get upset over them. Well, there are times when I am kinda a perfectionist because I want to be the best at whatever I'm doing and I am very critical with myself as far as how I'm performing or what I'm doing with my time. I am starting out at the bottom of the ladder with this job so I can't set my goals too high and get upset with having a bad day. I'm usually pretty optimistic too, so I think its a good mix of both traits. I hope to be successful eventually, but that is hard to do when you dig yourself a hole like I did today. What happened today is I spent over three hours with a customer and walked away empty handed. Like I said, I'm going to chalk this one up as a learning experience.

The rest of my time management was fine though besides that three hour block of time, I ate lunch in the car and when I had to go to the bathroom really really bad I just found a parking lot next to a city park where no one was around and took care of business. What would you think if you saw a dude all dressed up in a nice suit and tie, taking care of business in a vacant parking lot? I'd think, "Wow, that guy is dedicated to his job!" I want to save face with my boss too. He was ready to give me a new T (territory) yesterday but I'm not one to give up, I want to put forth a good effort before I start complaining about things not going my way. Actually, I don't want to complain about anything. If I have a problem then I need to fix it rather then waiting around for someone else to come in and do all the work for me. I was on my own today in my T, when you're on your own you understand that its "showtime," and that's where the "rubber meets the road!" Well, I'm going to "put the pedal to the metal," and "get the heck out of dodge." Okay, that's enough sayings for now.. But yeah, "Attitude is everything." Okay, not everything but if I wanted to feel sorry for myself for only going to 8 businesses when the goal is 50, then I wouldn't be helping anyone!

I just heard from my friends who are vacationing out West, I wish I was there! I need to start up the wheeler and plow the broomball rink tonight, right now its only tweleve below so I should be okay..

Oh, one more thing about today. I prayed to God today, to give me patience (when I was on hold for a long time after getting disconnect three times...) he gave me patience! I used to lay away at night thinking about life, coming to grasps with how short life really is, and what it means to die. I'll admit that sometimes I would get scared, and that's when I would call out to God. I would seriously call out to God in an audiable voice, not just in my head, and you know what would happen? I would fall asleep almost immeadiately. I believe that is God answering my calls because he would comfort me. He would relax me so much that I would just drift off to sleep... God is so good, I can't imagine what my life would be like or what I would be living for without Him.

In the past couple of months I've read a couple of book that have helped me better understand the personality of God. Not just his personality but how personable he is. He is so personable that he yearns to have a relationship with us. Not just the you are God and I am a meaningless no body, He wants for me to know him, personally. Jesus is like my best friend who I can't see. My friends called me today! They called me!! I was so happy because they called me! I'm usually the one who calls so to get a call from them meant a lot more then they will ever know! I feel so loved right now. Now, to relate that go Jesus. He died for me. Are they at all similar? They are similar but what Jesus did is so much more. When I was younger I considered what it would take to give my life for someone I loved. I know we all have self preservation but I think I could do it, especially for someone I loved.. But Jesus did it for me. And now he is still there to be my friend. This is just the way I see it and the way I can best explain it. My relationship so growing with God. I hope it always grows.

In Bible study someone commented that we always talk about the relationship that we will have with God when we go to heaven but there is nothing that says that we can't have that here and now, is there? Well, that concept totally blew me away, like my entire ship left the water! I want that! I want that relationship! I want that sincerity! I want to know Jesus like that! That is difficult to do when just about everything we hear totally contradicts that. But we are not of the world, the world is foreign to us. I am dwelling on Christ, not the world. But even sales is of this world... I need God, I don't need sales. I need God and I need to have that type of companionship type relationship that I've attempted to find here on earth with other humans... I need you God.